I had coffee awhile back with someone who asked me to meet with him. He thought we could refer each other business. I could tell he was a sincere person and good at what he does. The problem was that he kept peppering the conversation with references to how bad he was at other things, i.e. making money, saving, being married, etc. Every time he started to gain momentum in the conversation, he made a negative comment about himself and the train of good vibes came to a halt.
Why do people insist on telling you how bad they are? When you have a first impression conversation with someone, why would you spend it describing your faults? Do you think you are being modest?
The dictionary defines Modesty as "unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities." Lindsey Vonn telling someone she is a "pretty good" skier is an example of modesty.
Self defeating talk is not modesty. There is nothing wrong with being confident about your abilities; it's possible to be confident and not pretentious.
People who hire you want to know you are good at what you do. They are not interested in things you cannot do.
Self defeating talk drives people away from you; it leaves them with a negative impression of you, and if your intention is to attract business, this is not the path to success.
And what is so bad about you anyway? Even if you are "not so good" at saving money or cooking spaghetti, what has that got to do with your ability to do your job? Unless they are your therapist or BFF, your clients are not interested in your problems.
Bottom Line: Be confident in yourself and your abilities, and others will too.
Do you lack confidence? Is it getting in the way of your success? Let's Talk.
Click on the button below to schedule your free 30 minute coaching session.